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Parenting Styles of Asian Americans: Exploration of Tiger Parenting

By: Felicia Shen



Baumrind’s Theory on Parenting Styles

Renowned clinical and developmental psychologist, Diana Baumrind is best known for her research on parenting styles, eventually coining three primary styles of parenting: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. Baumrind’s interest in parenting styles prompted additional research which resulted in the finding that parenting styles significantly influence various facets of a child’s life, including career trajectory, interpersonal relationships, and overall health. Since then, the authoritative parenting style has been widely recognized as the optimal approach in parent-child dynamics, inspiring the creation of various intervention programs, books, talks, and conferences (Sutton, 2024). However, Baurmrind’s study in the developmental psychology field has largely been focused on Western youth or a Eurocentric perspective. Consequently, there has been much debate about the applicability of her theory and similar frameworks on children, of non-European descent. Cultural differences are indicative of the fact that Baumrind’s parenting styles are not universally effective across varying cultural contexts. 

For those unfamiliar with Baumrind's theories on parenting styles, a concise summary of each style’s characteristics and the associated developmental effects on children are as follows: 


Authoritative

The authoritative parenting style, identified by Baumrind as the gold standard due to its result in the optimal outcome, demands a lot of patience and effort as is characterized by high expectations and responsiveness. Parents who employ this style have clear guidelines for their expectations and explain their reasoning for disciplinary action as they aim to foster an environment that is warm with healthy communication. Children raised in this style are often confident, responsible, self-regulating, have high self-esteem, and can manage negative emotions more effectively, leading to better social outcomes and emotional health. Their firm and warm style is connected with intimate parent-child relations and positive child outcomes. 


Authoritarian

This style is noticeably harsher in child regulation as it is characterized with one-way communication where the parent establishes strict rules that the child must follow and there is no room for negotiation as the child is expected to uphold their standards and expectations. This parenting style also involves any mistakes that automatically lead to punishment. Parents who employ this style are considered less nurturing, and there is limited flexibility. Children from this parenting style are often well-behaved due to fear of consequences, may have high levels of aggression or become shy, may become socially awkward, and have low self-esteem, which leads them to be unable to make their own decisions. Their strict and restrictive parental style and lack of warmth lead to higher parent-child conflict, negative youth behaviors, and poor mental health. 


Permissive

On the other end of the spectrum, we have permissive parenting. Parents impose limited rules on children, have low expectations, and rarely use discipline. Children would have a lot of freedom, which can lead to unhealthy or negative habits, such as sleeping late, not doing homework, and general unhealthy eating habits. While children from this parenting style may have decent self-esteem and social skills, they can become impulsive, selfish, demanding, and lack self-regulation. 


Neglectful  

Neglectful parenting, also called uninvolved parenting was added later by psychologists Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin and is not considered part of the original Baumrind’s Theory of Parenting Styles, however this parenting style is often included in many studies. The theory claims that the parent is uninvolved with the child’s life. They may fulfill basic needs, but are mentally or emotionally detached from their child’s life. There is little communication and little nurturing, leading to little to no expectations of their child. Children from this parenting style are usually more resilient and self-sufficient but they often develop them out of necessity. They may have trouble controlling their emotions, have less effective coping strategies, may have academic challenges, and have difficulty maintaining or nurturing social relationships. 


Tiger Parenting 

As a Chinese American, I’m acutely aware of the concept of the“Tiger Parent.” Given its strong association with Asian American families, it only felt right to mention this particular parenting style within the context of my cultural background. Moreover, this article focuses on the application of parenting styles among Asian Americans. Discussing “tiger parenting” is both relevant and necessary. 

The term “tiger parent,” coined by Amy Chua, a Harvard law Professor, in her 2011 memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, contributed to  Asian parents being stereotyped as controlling, strict, and severe. Chua claims that the methods she used to raise her daughters are aligned with the Chinese cultural emphasis on academic achievement and family obligation—two key ways in which children can bring honor to their families. However, these practices stem from cultural differences and distinct family values between Chinese and European families. 

European families hold and practice different values and behaviors compared to Asian families and, subsequently, Asian American families, which can lead to misunderstandings and differing perspectives in parenting styles. Western and European families desired child-rearing goals are independence, individualism, social assertiveness, confidence, and confidence (Rubin & Chung, 2006). They also emphasize children’s self-esteem and personal growth (Chao & Tseng, 2002). Parents wish to build a close parent-child relationship to reduce conflict and promote healthy communication and harmony. On the other hand, Asian families are culturally collectivistic, emphasize interdependence, conformity, emotional self-control, and humility, fostering a strong sense of family obligation and orientation and respect towards parents and elders (Chao & Tseng, 2002). Asian American parents measure children’s success by their academic performance and attachment to familial responsibilities, so the child may feel that strong sense of academic pressure and family obligation. Asian parents typically practice strict control and are regarded as less expressive in showing affection compared to their Western counterparts, so it may seem that they practice authoritarian parenting, but that parenting style is not always related to negative youth outcomes. Thus, Chua’s memoir brought up the question of whether happiness and the pursuit of a child’s dreams and interests are more important than the pursuit of success that the parent defines. 


Effects of Parenting Styles in Chinese Americans

Much of developmental psychological theories, like parenting styles, were developed through studies and experiments of Western families. There hasn’t been much literature where a person of color is the focal point. This is why it is important to apply these frameworks to various racial and ethnic groups. 

In a study conducted by Kim et al. (2013), they examined various child-rearing practices among Chinese American families between both parent and child. They particularly focused on the phenomenon of tiger parenting and the effects of this parenting style. The study concluded that supportive parenting led to the most positive outcomes, followed by easygoing, tiger, and harsh parenting styles in descending order of effectiveness. Compared to the other three groups, supportive parenting significantly had higher educational attainment via reportedly higher GPAs, lower levels of academic pressure, lower levels of depressive symptoms, and a stronger sense of family obligation. These results would be equivalent to the authoritative parenting style which is indicated by high scores on parental warmth and positive control. On the other hand, when comparing tiger parenting to easy-going parents, the results concluded with higher levels of academic pressure, higher levels of depressive symptoms, feelings of alienation from parents, and higher family obligation. Lastly, harsh parenting when compared with tiger parenting was reported to have higher levels of depressive symptoms, higher levels of alienation from parents, and lower levels of family obligation. This resembles the authoritarian parenting style with low parental warmth scores and high negative control scores. Overall, this study was quite revealing in terms of how different parenting styles can affect the child in various aspects.  

One interesting thing to note in the Kim et al. (2013) study is that the role of the tiger parent changes from mother to father as the child goes through adolescence with tiger mothers being more common in early adolescence and then changing to a tiger father as the child becomes more gradually introduced to adulthood. So while the “tiger parent” may be more commonly associated with the mother, the concept of the “tiger parent” can be used interchangeably between mother and father. This change in parents may be the result of the roles parents play concerning the socialization of their children. The role of the tiger mom may be seen as more prevalent during the earlier periods of adolescence when the child’s social interactions are more likely to occur within the home (Inman et al., 2007). As the child moves into later periods of adolescence and enters adulthood to begin socialization with the wider society, the tiger father begins to emerge and become responsible for the child outside the home (Costigan & Dokis, 2006). 

In this study, self-reports by both the parents and children concerning their perception of parenting styles and child-rearing practices, introduce the potential for response bias, particularly social desirability bias, as participants may have reported behaviors they believe are expected or socially acceptable rather than their actual practices or experiences.  Chinese American adolescents were more likely than their European counterparts to experience a mismatch between their ideals and perceptions of the parent-adolescent relationship (Wu & Chao, 2011), thus they may be more likely to report negative parenting practices. In fact, during this study, adolescents were more likely to categorize parents as harsh or tiger parents, as well as reporting negative parenting practices (Wu & Chao, 2011). So while this study was quite revealing of the parenting habits of Asian parents and the perceptions of their children, there is still much work to be done and information left to uncover when it comes to the effects of parenting styles in the Asian American diaspora.  

While the focus of the Kim et al. (2013) study was primarily on tiger parenting, their study did reveal the effects of various parenting styles on Asian American parent-child relationships, which is something that is lacking in current literature. 


Conclusion 

No size fits all with parenting styles. What works for one family may not work for another. While the authoritative parenting style has been deemed as the golden standard, especially for European families, that may not be the case nor is it feasible for Asians or Asian American families. There are many social, contextual, and cultural factors at play. 

Chua’s memoir states, “academic achievement reflects successful parenting” (Chua, 2011), however that may not always be the case. Generally, Asian American parents emphasize hard work, self-discipline, and obedience. However, you can also argue that for any family. The distinction lies in the parent’s and child’s attitude and motivation. Chinese Americans, in particular, derive many of their values and beliefs from Confucianism, an ancient Chinese philosophy that promotes attributes like filial piety, enduring hardship, and dedicating oneself to academic excellence. On the other hand, European parents would like their children to excel in their academics, but they may not place such a high level of importance or emphasis compared to Asian Americans. The Asian American cultural group is diverse, consisting of a large population with differences stemming from different cultural groups, immigration status, and the child’s cultural identity. The important thing to note is that every family is different with many nuances, as such every parent-child relationship is different. 


References


Chao, R. K. (2001). Extending research on the consequences of parenting style for Chinese   Americans and European Americans. Child development, 72(6), 1832-1843.


Chao, R. K., & Tseng, V. (2002). Parenting of Asians. In M. H. Bornstein (Ed.), Handbook of   parenting (Vol. 4, pp. 59 –93). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum


Choi, Y., Kim, Y. S., Kim, S. Y., & Park, I. J. K. (2013). Is Asian American parenting controlling   and harsh? Empirical testing of relationships between Korean American and Western   parenting measures. Asian American Journal of Psychology, 4(1), 19–29.   doi:10.1037/a0031220 


Chua, A. (2011). Battle hymn of the tiger mother. Bloomsbury publishing.


Costigan, C. L., & Dokis, D. P. (2006). Relations between parent– child acculturation differences   and adjustment within immigrant Chinese families. Child Development, 77, 1252–1267.   doi:10.1111/j.1467-8624.2006 .00932.x


Inman, A. G., Howard, E. E., Beaumont, R. L., & Walker, J. A. (2007). Cultural transmission:   Influence of contextual factors in Asian Indian immigrant parents’ experiences. Journal   of Counseling Psychology, 54, 93–100. doi:10.1037/0022-0167.54.1.93

 

Kim, S. Y., Wang, Y., Orozco-Lapray, D., Shen, Y., & Murtuza, M. (2013). Does “tiger parenting”   exist? Parenting profiles of Chinese Americans and adolescent developmental   outcomes. Asian American Journal of Psychology, 4(1), 7–18. doi:10.1037/a0030612 

 

Sanvictores, T., & Mendez, M. D. (2021). Types of parenting styles and effects on children.

Sutton, J. (2024, March 6). Authoritative parenting: Guiding with warmth and firmness.   PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/authoritative-parenting/ 

Rubin, K. H., & Chung, O. B. (Eds.). (2006). Parenting beliefs, behaviors, and parent– child   relations. New York, NY: Psychology Press.


Wu, C., & Chao, R. K. (2011). Intergenerational cultural dissonance in parent and adolescent

 relationships among Chinese and European Americans. Developmental Psychology, 47,

 493–508. doi:10.1037/a0021063

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